Psychologists have determined through extensive research that environment plays a large role in development of narcissistic tendencies. Studies show that children who are raised in environments where they are the center of all focus often begin to believe that they need to be adored. The current parenting style that puts children's wants before anything else in the family is one of the reasons that a 2010 study by the Journal Social and Psychological Journal by J. Twenge and J. Foster shows there is a strong increase in narcissist behavior among Millennial's.
The intent of parenting in a manner where the children are the focus was intended to raise self-esteem. It is a parenting style that came into play by a generation who lived with two working parents and typically felt overlooked. Instead of overlooking their children, they have focused every moment on making their children lives as "magical" as possible. Oddly enough the rise of narcissistic behavior in light of today’s parenting style suggests this type of parenting has indeed allowed our children to feel precious, only this has a dark side. Many of these children feel that they are the focus and generally entitled to whatever they desire.
A person with coping skills will use the experience of stress to help them determine a course of action to resolve the problem, and attempt to avoid it in the future. In contrast, a narcissistic personality will blame their environment or people around them for the experience of stress. This means they will blame anyone and anything that they believe should have done something differently to avoid the stressful event.
People who believe the world should serve them, are individuals who are not afraid to mistreat others to get what they want. in many ways this is a breeding ground for an abuser. Someone who feels completely entitled will lack the ability to empathize with the feelings and needs of others. In fact, a narcissist doesn't see any reason to consider the needs or feelings of others. A world filled with narcissists is a world that accepts abuse as ‘the way of life’.
We currently live in a world where verbal abuse is an accepted response to get our needs met. Mass murders are more common and life like violence is a standard part of the video games that we allow our children and teens to play. Children as young as toddlers are being numbed by constant exposure to subtle violence in television commercials, cartoons and video games. When this is mixed with children who are raised in households where they witness their mothers being abused by their daddies, they grow up believing abuse is normal. They have no environment to contrast this belief, and as a result they believe abuse is okay because the adults in their lives are behaving this way.
The first step to addressing abuse is to ensure that our children and families know that we are a team, and sometimes we won’t get what we want. We must teach them that respecting others matter even when we don't agree. We need to allow them to experience struggle so they develop the tools that will help them when life does get difficult. It would be nice if our children suddenly developed life skills at 18 years old, but these skills are taught during the childhood years.