Have you ever had someone make you feel as though they are doing you a favor by accepting your generosity?
Abuse is what happens when one person tries to control the choices and decisions of another person. This means that some friendships are actually abusive because there is an imbalance of control.
Here are a few common situations that often occur in emotionally abusive friendships:
1. Never satisfied with the time that you have available to spend with them.
2. Often say things that hurt, but won't apologize even if you mention that they bother you.
3. Blame you when things don't go as planned, even when they are partly to blame.
4. Refuse to allow you to spend time with other people on your own.
5. Makes plans to hang with you, but arrives late and doesn't call or text to let you know.
6. Expects you to go out of your way for them and seldom appreciates it when you choose to.
7. Speaks badly about you to others.
8. Teases you about things that you can't or do not want to change about yourself.
9. Brings up your past mistakes even after you've overcome them.
10. Shares private information about you with other people.
11. Pouts or gets angry if they don't get their own way.
12. Lies about you or to you.
13. Refuses to accept responsibility for things that your friend does that hurt or upset you.
14. Withholds attention when you don't do what they want.
15. Ignores you, except when they want something from you.
16. Drives by to 'check in' uninvited.
17. Threatens to harm themselves if you leave or break up with them.
18. Insists that you participate in things that make you feel uncomfortable.
19. Twists the truth so that you always come out sounding like a jerk.
20. You feel bad after being around them, but can't quite identify why.
If you have questions about what to do if you or someone you know is caught up in a relationship like this reach out. it might surprise you to learn that you don't have to end the friendship to protect yourself from abuse. Sometimes it helps just to create some personal boundaries or talk it out with someone before deciding what you want to do.